i am you,with the exception that my abuse was from my real parents. my father kept me in a constant state of fear and panic because of his temper and beatings,and my mother,well what can i say.....no child should be made to feel that she is worthless and invisible....its sad that i cant remember not one loving word...not one!! of course this has to manifest itself in sensitive souls such as ours,and our paths to self destruction are formed early in our subconscience.with our conscience being none the wiser!!! we didnt stand a chance...alcohol.drugs,sex gambling...maybe ALL of these vices! its so sad to think we can be so unworthy,that we actually go out there to hurt ourselvrs more as if to prove that this is true. thank you for being so honest,i have no doubt that your story will have helped so many lost souls that need some inspiration and hope.god keep u safe and loved alwaysxxx

ditto on all the horror stories that i have read!!z

It is a crazy journey this road called life. Gambling was "A road to riches" for me that became a road to hell. I wanted to live the easy life without working for it and the slot machines were my ticket to financial freedom. The only tickets I received in reality were a one way ticket to depression, a brief marriage break up and a ticket to rock bottom. I would have rather died than have to face the pain, hurt and humiliation that my gambling caused to everyone around me, this addiction ate me up and spit me out - I was lost as to how I could find myself again. Well, a funny thing happened on the road to recovery! 6 months after my wife and I reconciled and starting to find myself again - I was diagnosed with cancer. The funny thing is that all the time I was stuck in my addictive assault - both while gambling and in abstinence - I prayed every night asking for God to not let me wake up the next morning - upon my cancer diagnosis - I was saying a different prayer. Life is funny - I understand about coming full circle and if there is 1 thing that I am passionate about - it's sharing my CRAZY story today and helping others see that we can overcome anything and live a life full of happiness and abundance. I haven't place a bet since October 11, 2001 and celebrated 4 years post treatment for my cancer. I am living a full life being in remission from 2 deadly diseases!

I just read your story and I wanted to say thank you. Gambling is a bigger problem than America knows or wants to deal with. I have been in the NFL for 5 years and am a starter for a team on the East Coast. Nobody knows that I gamble and I don't think anyone would care as long as I make the big plays. I can't stop and when I read your story I felt that I was looking at myself in the mirror. Because of you and what you shared, I realize that we are all just one bad decision from jail. Despite my public image, I am going to start dealin with this. Even when I am on the field, I am thinking of blackjack. I don't want to live like that again. Just call me thankful in New England

I was told about your site from a Senator at lunch today and I just want to tell you that what you are doing is more important and helpful than you probably even know. To tell others what you did, the embarrassment and the shame, so that OTHERS can learn and get the help they need is so admirable. I hope that every judge that sentenced you knows of the good that you have done and given back to society. You are welcome to bring your story here any time. - Terry